...and the decision not to.
Everyone blogs these days. Really, they do. Celebrities, school kids, CEO's, grandparents, etc. It seems everyone except moi. So today - the night of the bonfire - that changes.
For a long time I've had the inclination to write stuff. Not so much things that happen in my life, but more of the way I look at things, or how things appear from my perspective. Writing that looks somehow arrogant; I mean I strongly doubt that my take on the world is any more interesting than that of anyone else. But its important to me. And some other people out there may find similarities and parallels in the outpourings of my blurb. If it serves only to let me air things, then its purpose it already served. If it becomes slightly interesting for anyone else, then it has accomplished far more than I could hope for.
So this evening it begins with an explanation on my decision to stop excusing the pathetic excuses which until now have prevented me from writing. The Fine Line between writing, and not writing.
In my case, the line is inexplicably thin. One minute I could be the keenest new blogger on the block, masterfully creating some fantastic concept to convey in words and kilobytes. The next, I will smell the wafting aroma of a cheese and onion pasty and all my ideas desert me. Any excuse will suffice because, and this is a truth I that is hard to write, I am monstrously lazy. Not physically lazy (I exercise and regularly use the gym, I walk a lot every day and I keep my mind active with shit movies and sometimes shittier books), but lazy in terms of making things happen. Every time I have an idea for something, I lack the ability to see them through to fruition. These ideas are generally insignificant and only bear interest to me (much like this blog) and I quickly lose interest. In essence, what I really lack is motivation - or is that just another excuse for avoiding the word "lazy"?
Once, after having consumed some delightful fudge from the kitchen of Mary Jane, I had some ideas. Not my typical small time ideas. But ideas that would change the world forever. It's possible they were inventions that would preserve the human race in the event the Mayans were right. I wrote them down hastily so as not to forget, but upon awaking from my lengthy slumber, I had forgotten the ideas and also was unable to decipher my ape-like scrawls on the inside of the cardboard beer crate. However, even if I was able to recollect the ideas, and it turns out they were fantastic ideas (and not just weed induced delusions) I would probably still lack the ambition to see them through.
But, in writing this first post, I think it will be easier for me to stick to this idea. My fine line between writing my blog and not writing my blog has just widened considerably.
So thank you for reading my ill-edited, poorly composed introduction. I could blame the sound of exploding fireworks for any spelling errors but I won't. Instead (as blogs are, to me, the last refuge of real honesty) I will tell you that I am just simply too lazy to run this through a spell checker. [Edit - I've just seen the spellcheck button on the Blogger editor. Even I can muster the drive to click it...].
Take care,
fineline.
